The India Diet

It is horribly easy to lose weight in India, solely by virtue of getting sick from contaminated water and food. This is particularly true in the rainy season, from June - October. The India Diet, commonly known as Delhi Belly, is an unpleasant experience that can last from one day to one week. A common result is that your clothes will rapidly become annoyingly loose. One pair of trousers I brought from home used to sit comfortably on my hips; now they wallow listlessly around my ankles. Luckily they were the dodgy turquoise ones that I bought in a fit of madness for €3. No loss there really; they will make nice dusting cloths.


These were super tight on me leaving Ireland


Poor ridiculous turquoise pants

Here are the basic tenets of The India Diet:
- Thou shalt unwittingly consume dangerous bacteria from food and/or water
- Thou shalt not be parted from the bathroom for more than one hour
- Thou shalt not be in the slightest bit interested in food
- Thou shalt loll about pathetically in bed feeling sorry for thyself
- Thou shalt watch a godawful amount of Australian soap operas (this one might just be me)
- Thou shalt kneel before the magic of ORS

ORS is what will get you through the awful India Diet. ORS is Oral Rehydration Solution, a simple mixture of water, sugar and salt that will stop you fainting/ dehydrating/ dying etc. You will probably know it in the form of Lucozade, which would explain why it is such a popular choice for a hangover cure.

There is one more vital addition required to endure The India Diet: a kindred spirit who will look after you when you are clearly incapable of doing it yourself. Today my amazing colleague Ravi was that person for me. He drove all the way to his house where, unbeknownst to me, his wife had cooked me a lunch comprised of foods essential for curing a bad belly; boiled rice, turmeric-laced curd and coconut paste with chilli. Ravi spent the day bringing me freshly boiled water to drink and generally being a top notch gentleman.


Boiled rice mixed with turmeric curd - a bit like rice pudding


Coconut paste with chilli


My pot of boiled drinking water which was replenished for me during the day

Indian hospitality is just out of this world.